An age old issue

When did I get to be old? I dont mean the walking stick kind of old, but culturally..? It seems only 5 minutes since I was night clubbing, staggering home in the day light, drinking ridiculous amounts and listening to Radio 1. Somewhere along the line I no longer go clubbing, I dont drink, I get up at 6am, not get home at 6am and I have slipped into Radio 2, and lets be honest here, I often slip further into Smooth Radio, Classic FM or even Radio 4.

I recently tried Radio 1 and I had no clue what anyone was talking about, not just that I didnt know the bands but I couldnt even follow the conversation!

I used to get Heat magazine every week, this week for the first time in years I bought it again, I dont know who anyone is? Nor what they are famous for? What is TOWIE? Who are the Kardashians? And as for Nicki Minaj, what is it? I was delighted when I saw Jordan! She is still around, apparently married again with a new baby! And Posh Spice is nearly 40! Well, she cant be because shes only 3 or 4 years older than me and Im….oh…shit.

This Miley Cyrus needs a bath and to be grounded in my opinion, and I dont know who 1 Direction are or this Harry Styles but he looks like an infant to me. Is Big Brother still going? And since when does everyone need implants for a fat arse? They can have mine for free.

I like BBC Breakfast in the morning for my news because the presenters are sensible. I have had to Google the new judge on The Voice, but I DID know who Kylie was of course because I adored Tears on my Pillow when I was 12, thats 24 years ago! This is ridiculous! Someone is stealing time from me!

I had thought I was still ‘with it ‘ , I know what a selfie is, I understand trending and I FACEBOOK.

But I am going to have to face the very real possibility that I am staring at the age old issue of old age.  The signs are clear. When I listen to CDs ( not Ipods or mp3s as I dont know how they work or what they really do ), Im looking for a song I can sing along with, I turn it up when its Elton John, Madonna, The Bee Gees or The Psychedelic Furs. My last album I bought was Now thats what I call Musicals.

I think of Coldplay as a new band. I am utterly gobsmacked that someone born in 1996 can vote! Surely Ive only just qualified to vote? I mean the last time I voted was, well, when did Tony Blair get in again?

I like to shop in Waitrose because its clean and bright.

1. I dont use self service checkouts. I pretend its because Im keeping people in work, but its really because I dont know how they work. And if I do get forced onto one by a keen teenage membet of staff it always shouts criticisms at me! Unidentified item in the baggage area! Or starts to flash, then the teenager comes back, waves his credit card at it then goes away without a word leaving me trying to insert money into every nook on the machine.

My TV choices are Midsomer Murders, Strictly Come Dancing and Countryfile. I like to be in bed by 9pm. I like baths not showers. I say Oooh thats better when I drink a cup of tea and my knees click when I get out of bed. I have to admit it, Im just not young any more. Bugger.